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Being Uncomfortable with Love

The biggest reason we are uncomfortable with love is FEAR.

Stop fearing loss.

A common reason for not being able to receive love is a prior experience of losing someone you loved, whether it was from death, a break-up, or for some other reason that has scarred you. If you spend all of your life pushing aside love given to you on the off-chance that the person offering it might withdraw it, you will always feel cynical and unsure, which is not a comfortable or happy place to be. Instead, embrace the love that they are offering and go with the flow, expecting those who offer you love to stay around.

Breaking the Love block is to learn to Love you.

This might be the hardest step of all but if you don’t love yourself that much, receiving love is impossible because you don’t believe that you deserve it. If this is the case, start working on why you can’t love yourself so well, including reading 30 Days to Freedom Becoming Authentic and practicing the art of meditation to help you explore these issues. Remember that every person is special and that you are very deserving of love.

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Shallow Breathing vs Deep Breathing During Intercourse Which do you do?

Her back began to arch. Her eyes rolled far back in her head. The moan coming from her throat sounded like it was coming from the very bottom of her stomach. And her vagina? Her vagina was Pacific Ocean wet. Not Lake Michigan wet or Mississippi or Nile River wet. I said it was PACIFIC OCEAN WET!

 

Conscious breathing during sexual intercourse is one of the most overlooked; least studied and under practiced aspects of Sex on planet earth today. So many people are just clueless about the natural enhancement of sexual intercourse that can be experienced by just paying more attention to the breath than the body parts during intercourse.

 

You see, breathing goes with everything. Everybody does it and you can’t live 6 minutes without it. In my mind, something this important should be garnering more points on people’s priority list than the next new pair of J’s or how much weight Pinky the infamous porn star is gaining.

 

Now since I’ve got sexual pleasure ranked high up on my priority list, I’ve discovered that studying these two pursuits AT THE SAME TIME has brought some super duper, extra juicy life experiences in and outside of the bedroom. Actually, “conscious breathing” goes better with sex and orgasms than almost everything else out here. Why? Well, it’s free, its in unlimited quantity and if it is monitored “consciously” by one or both partners during intercourse, the results will leave everybody happy and the sheets soaked.

 

Now let’s examine the “conscious breath” component for a second so you too can start reaching greater heights in your love making experiences. On the in thrust, I want you to inhale ONE slow breath for the duration of the “in” penetration and don’t exhale until the “back stroke” or pulling out motion and make sure it’s just as slow. The key is to match the stroke, in AND out, with the inhale and the exhale. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, Good. Now, let me see you go practice.

 

But while practicing I want you to keep one thing in mind please, “How slow can I inhale?”  The slower the inhale, the slower the in thrust. That is the key. I want you to do this rhythm in a pattern of 10. That means do TEN of these ‘stroke breaths’ IN A ROW. I’m not going to spoil your surprise and tell you the results, but I will say this, there will be a very noticeable difference in how women respond than men. Both are going to be great, they’re just going to be different ‘types’ of great.

 

If you’re in a relationship, share with your partner your ideas about implementing this into your sexual practice. If you want to just sneak it in as a surprise on your partner, which works too. Have some fun first, get the ball rolling, and then ease into it. Also, if you are a meditator and practice deep, lower abdominal breathing, you’re going to be 10 steps ahead of the game on this one and your results are going to magnified 10-fold. So, have fun, don’t hurt nobody, keep it sexy and breathe.

 

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A History of Emotional Wounds: The Inability to Love

Not everyone is meant to follow society’s norms and live a conventional life. Not all are equipped for a happy married existence like most people. Some are just not built this way. There are individuals who fail to realize stable relationships simply because they do not completely understand what it is. And the reason for this is they did not witness it themselves in their own homes.

 

There are people who never learned to trust because they were not provided adequate necessities for survival. They never learned patience due to excessive and strict demands. They never learned to care because when they were in desperate need of help, there was no one there to give it.  They never learned to be faithful because the people who were meant to be their role models were themselves disloyal. And how can they understand what a healthy and stable relationship is when all they can remember are the constant and never-ending arguments at home?

 

It is the simple and plain truth that one cannot give what one never had. This is the sad reality of people whose lives were destroyed before they even began. It is for this reason that there are those who cannot love even if they try.

 

Yet many still make an effort to enter into relationships believing that they have learned from their unfortunate experiences. But as much they deny and repress the existence of these character flaws, their failings will unavoidably surface and ruin whatever they attempt to build. No amount of love they receive will suffice because the emptiness runs deep. Thus, their relationships are almost always doomed to fail.

 

Some however, after a number of failed attempts at building relationships are finally able to recognize their inability to love. They have come to accept it and instead withdraw and become emotionally distant. And this is one reason why there are people who choose to live alone.

 

Recognizing one’s emotional wounds is the first step towards rebuilding oneself. Realizing that romantic relationships cannot fill the void left by a history of neglect and mistreatment is necessary in order to begin the healing process. Once this realization is made, it therefore becomes a choice between living a life of solitude and seeking help in order to heal.

 

Healing starts within. Grab a free copy of the 7 love blocks ebook to find whats holding you back and how you can move forward.

 

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The Power of Forgiveness

The rules, regulations and principles that God tells us to abide by in the Bible are all there for our own good. They are there to protect us physically, mentally and spiritually.

In the Lord’s Prayer it says, “Forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us”.

Why is forgiveness so important? Why is it essential to our own well being and our spiritual walk?

 

There are several reasons. Firstly unforgiveness hampers our relationship with God. We are disobeying him if we don’t forgive others, which retards our relationship with him. It also leads to pent up resentment toward the person who has sinned against us. We cannot love God and hate our fellow man, as written (Mat 22:39) “….Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”.  Harboring unforgiveness that keeps us in a state that is other than loving can dampen our spiritual walk.

 

Secondly unforgiveness can lead to internal emotional turmoil. It means that we are permanently tied to the act of sin against us. We cannot get over it or get release from it, and move on with our lives until we forgive the person and put the consequences of their actions into God’s hands to deal with. Bad things that have been done to us in the past cannot be changed. Having grudges does not help us and does not hurt the person who we hold the grudge against. They have sinned against us and moved on with their life, but we cannot detach ourselves and move on until we give it over to God and forgive them.

 

Resentment and pent up anger can be extremely damaging both emotionally and also physically. Many illnesses and mental conditions are directly linked to these negative emotions. Unforgiveness can lead to turmoil and torment.

 

Forgiveness allows our heart to start healing. It is often a slow process, if the emotions have been bottled up for many years.

 

We need to remember that forgiving someone is showing them mercy that they do not deserve – just as God through sending his son to die for our sins showed that he gave us mercy that we didn’t deserve.

 

Forgiving others begins the process of alleviating the pain that we have kept hold of, due to the hurt that the other person has caused us. When you start to forgive the pain will start to reduce and eventually go all together.

 

We do not need the other person to ask for our forgiveness to give it to them. Forgiveness is not really between us and the person who sinned against us it is really between us and God. God makes it clear that it is his job to take ‘vengeance’, not ours.

 

Forgiveness is not an emotion it is a personal choice, effectively an action that we need to perform. We have to choose to forgive and keep on choosing it. When we do this we cut the ties to the emotional hurts and can begin to heal.

 

Forgiveness releases us from the bondage of resentment and bitterness and gives us freedom and peace.

Debra Lohrere is the author of several books and many articles on property investment, how to create financial security and related topics, as well as on subjects of spiritual encouragement.

 

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How to Defeat Enduring Misery

How to Defeat Enduring Misery

The beginning of self-awareness is believed to be linked to the earliest moments of our life when we initially respond to our name or when we first see a reflection of ourselves. The notion of a self-concept develops in us from that instant. Interestingly, once our awareness of self is born, everything that happens to us throughout our lives will have an effect on it.

 

The environment we grow up in will condition us to value certain things that when sought, will increase our self-esteem.  These values are however subjective and personal to each of us. Adhering to these values is what causes us to feel good about ourselves. And having a positive view of ourselves may lead to the experience of happiness. But this kind of happiness is longer lasting and not the temporary kind that results only from simple pleasures.

 

When an unfortunate event occurs in our lives, we may feel sad about it. But the sadness is often brief and does not really affect our view of ourselves. Real misery is not quite the same. It is an enduring sadness which does not fade with time. Misery often stems from seeing nothing positive in ourselves. When this happens, we lose any reason to feel good. And this causes our self-esteem to plummet. And engaging in mere superficial gratifications will not erase this misery.

 

Why does this happen? Having nothing to value in oneself is the reason. So, what is it do we value? Is it academic or professional success? Is it material prosperity? Is it having stable and fulfilling relationships? Is it doing charitable acts and exhibiting generosity? Is it being able to follow a moral or spiritual standard? Or is it simply liking what we see when we look in a mirror? This will depend entirely on the individual’s values and the personal standards he has set for himself.

 

Therefore, in order to find a lasting reason for feeling good and staying happy, we must first ask what it is that will cultivate a positive view of ourselves. Once we know what that is, we can strive towards its satisfaction. Finding and nurturing what we regard as positive and good in us will help prevent the onset of misery.