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How to Defeat Enduring Misery

How to Defeat Enduring Misery

The beginning of self-awareness is believed to be linked to the earliest moments of our life when we initially respond to our name or when we first see a reflection of ourselves. The notion of a self-concept develops in us from that instant. Interestingly, once our awareness of self is born, everything that happens to us throughout our lives will have an effect on it.


The environment we grow up in will condition us to value certain things that when sought, will increase our self-esteem.  These values are however subjective and personal to each of us. Adhering to these values is what causes us to feel good about ourselves. And having a positive view of ourselves may lead to the experience of happiness. But this kind of happiness is longer lasting and not the temporary kind that results only from simple pleasures.


When an unfortunate event occurs in our lives, we may feel sad about it. But the sadness is often brief and does not really affect our view of ourselves. Real misery is not quite the same. It is an enduring sadness which does not fade with time. Misery often stems from seeing nothing positive in ourselves. When this happens, we lose any reason to feel good. And this causes our self-esteem to plummet. And engaging in mere superficial gratifications will not erase this misery.


Why does this happen? Having nothing to value in oneself is the reason. So, what is it do we value? Is it academic or professional success? Is it material prosperity? Is it having stable and fulfilling relationships? Is it doing charitable acts and exhibiting generosity? Is it being able to follow a moral or spiritual standard? Or is it simply liking what we see when we look in a mirror? This will depend entirely on the individual’s values and the personal standards he has set for himself.


Therefore, in order to find a lasting reason for feeling good and staying happy, we must first ask what it is that will cultivate a positive view of ourselves. Once we know what that is, we can strive towards its satisfaction. Finding and nurturing what we regard as positive and good in us will help prevent the onset of misery.

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A History of Emotional Wounds: The Inability to Love

Not everyone is meant to follow society’s norms and live a conventional life. Not all are equipped for a happy married existence like most people. Some are just not built this way. There are individuals who fail to realize stable relationships simply because they do not completely understand what it is. And the reason for this is they did not witness it themselves in their own homes.


There are people who never learned to trust because they were not provided adequate necessities for survival. They never learned patience due to excessive and strict demands. They never learned to care because when they were in desperate need of help, there was no one there to give it.  They never learned to be faithful because the people who were meant to be their role models were themselves disloyal. And how can they understand what a healthy and stable relationship is when all they can remember are the constant and never-ending arguments at home?


It is the simple and plain truth that one cannot give what one never had. This is the sad reality of people whose lives were destroyed before they even began. It is for this reason that there are those who cannot love even if they try.


Yet many still make an effort to enter into relationships believing that they have learned from their unfortunate experiences. But as much they deny and repress the existence of these character flaws, their failings will unavoidably surface and ruin whatever they attempt to build. No amount of love they receive will suffice because the emptiness runs deep. Thus, their relationships are almost always doomed to fail.


Some however, after a number of failed attempts at building relationships are finally able to recognize their inability to love. They have come to accept it and instead withdraw and become emotionally distant. And this is one reason why there are people who choose to live alone.


Recognizing one’s emotional wounds is the first step towards rebuilding oneself. Realizing that romantic relationships cannot fill the void left by a history of neglect and mistreatment is necessary in order to begin the healing process. Once this realization is made, it therefore becomes a choice between living a life of solitude and seeking help in order to heal.


Source: Free Articles from


Frederick Fabella, PhD is a graduate and undergraduate professor in the Philippines. He is an editorial board member of the IRP international research journal and a Fellow of the Royal Institution Singapore. He is also an author of various books and studies.

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Speak Money into your life

Recently I had an really bad car accident. This recent event allowed me to open up to my friends and ask for help. In doing so I was shock to learn that many of my friends were having financial hardships as well. In my response to help lift up my friends, I offer this very powerful video to aid in the wealth and money attraction process. Watch this video as many times as it takes for you to believe in the words that you are speaking. I pray all who are open receive all that you require.


Be Authentic

Love Nikeema


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Are you living your dreams?

or are you just hoping for the best.

My dream is to help others discover the power of love. If you are among my friends/ supporters/ doubters and you dream of finding love, having love, understanding love and you’re not sure if, when and or how…allow me to help you. Allow me to guide you to an unlimited source of love. Don’t wait, don’t hesitate. Love has never been calling you so powerfully as it is call you right now in this moment.

Let’s get you past the tears, past the hurt, past the pain. Let’s march into a new realm of living. Let’s take the top of your life so that it can be free to breathe.

Take action now Post a comment. Say “I want to LIVE”

Let’s get you to the path of faith, hope and love and the greatest among these is LOVE!!!

You have been guided to this place in your life. Looking for that sign, that calling, that time. The time is now. Your life will not change if you don’t make changes. You have to decide RIGHT NOW if you going to send the next half of this year having the same experiences. Know one thing for sure and that’s my dream.

I have a life whole full of love and hope. Knowing what death feels like, depression, sickness, fear, worry and doubt. With certain steps I found love and peace that passes all understanding.

Bad things happen to good people all the time. How you handle it determines how far you rise in life, take this time because there may not be another chance like this to climb out of your situation and into an unique promise.

GET STARTED NOW!!! Post a comment. Say “I want to LIVE”


Love Always,

Maybe not you but someone you know is failing. they are failing at life, at love, at living their dreams. I make a compelling argument to change however lighting the path is only my purpose… walking the path is yours.


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What’s your reason?

Every day you rise, work, complain and try to enjoy some kind of life but why. What is the reason that you do what you do every day. Many quickly say my children are my reason or my families in general are why many work so hard. Those reasons are great however over time will lose their fire and leave you regretting your dedication.

Instead of looking for some outside source to motivate you to greatness, look with yourself to find the key to unlocking the wolf within. Let your own drive be the spark that drives you to achieving your greatest accomplishments.

When you pull for the unlimited resource within yourself you will have an endless drive of passion for what you do. When it comes from you there will be nothing that will stop you from achieving your life’s purpose.

Be sure to follow on instagram @nikeemalee